The title says it all; there will be times when we hit the wall. I have heard it many times from many missionaries; there will be times that I will want to quit and walk away. It is only by spending time in the Word and alone with God, knowing that I am in the center of His will, that I will have the courage and strength to stay. I experienced this first hand in Greeley, especially while running the homeless teen ministry. There were uncountable numbers of times that I wanted to just give up, quit and leave. God told me that I would be there 2 years and I knew without a doubt that this is where I was to be. He also had told me and confirmed over and over again that I was to lead Lost But Found, had He not I would have hit the door after the first month.
My time in Greeley was the loneliest I have ever had. I had very little support and didn’t really have friends until the last 9 months and even then, I was just getting to really know them. My fibromyalgia was the worst it has ever been and I was sick, tired and in pain all the time. So many times I felt there was no end in sight. I wouldn’t change the fact that I was there for anything. It was during this time of loneliness and lack of support that I truly learned how to lean on God. I learned and grew so much while I was there and I am still doing so now as I continue to process those times.
The biggest lesson I seemed to learn was how to start up, run and lead a ministry. Part of this was through accomplishments and other parts of it were learning what I could have done differently. Before I ran Lost But Found I truly questioned my leadership skills. I knew I could start things up and run an agency; I’ve done it before, but I didn’t know if I had any leadership skills, or if I just wanted to think that I did. I didn’t just doubt myself, but I doubted God’s capabilities. It ends up that God is huge and powerful and anything can happen when He wills and leads it (amazing, isn’t it). Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I needed to be reminded of God’s bigness and see just the beginning of what He can do when I let go of control. These were life-changing lessons.
Granted the ministry was shut down, but I don’t see the days of Lost But Found as a waist or things as a failure. Many parts of Lost But Found are being used, in different aspects, at more than one church and agency. I believe God will still use this to help many homeless teens. I know that God has used it to build the passion within me and bring me to where I am now. The skills I have learned will help me more than I know. I know that I am able to start up the ministry that I am doing now, due to the skills that I have acquired plus, they will help with my next job. Sometimes hitting the wall is the best thing that can happen to us, for it is there that we learn how great and mighty are God truly is.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Ministry Planning
I found it fascinating to learn that leaders whom are planning oriented tend to plan 2 years at a time. Two years! Who could possibly know what is going to happen two years from now? Those of us whom are not planning oriented only do 1 year at a time and that is only because that is what is required of us. Amen to that! I do like to have a plan on quite a few things (see I’m not as free spirited as some of you think, I have a nerd inside of me, too), it’s just that I prefer to plan a week, maybe a month at a time. Shoot, when you live the life of a nomad it is often hard to see past a month. I do have to admit that there is comfort in planning, though. I do also understand the responsibility of stewardship and learned this even more through my last ministry/job. It is especially important for me to demonstrate credibility to those whom support me.
It seems as if ministry planning combines the previous classes. As in research, it is important learn about the community in which I am doing missions, to discover the missionaries whom are already impacting their community and to draw on what they know. It is also important to learn what the acceptable outreaches are, so that I don’t interfere with my communities values and ways of being able to minister to them. It also draws on my strengths and making sure that I am ministering within at least 60% of them, this way I won’t get burned out or bored. It is also important to draw on areas that aren’t necessarily strengths and may be uncomfortable, but will stretch and grow me, possibly teaching me a new skill or bring out a hidden talent. I do have to acknowledge that though I plan in many areas, there is still a lot of room for growth.
It seems as if ministry planning combines the previous classes. As in research, it is important learn about the community in which I am doing missions, to discover the missionaries whom are already impacting their community and to draw on what they know. It is also important to learn what the acceptable outreaches are, so that I don’t interfere with my communities values and ways of being able to minister to them. It also draws on my strengths and making sure that I am ministering within at least 60% of them, this way I won’t get burned out or bored. It is also important to draw on areas that aren’t necessarily strengths and may be uncomfortable, but will stretch and grow me, possibly teaching me a new skill or bring out a hidden talent. I do have to acknowledge that though I plan in many areas, there is still a lot of room for growth.
Understanding Research
I love, love, love research! Unfortunately, I missed a good chunk of the morning session, because this is a topic close to my heart; I am a researcher at heart, it is one of those things that just flows from me. I will eventually be doing research in communities to find out what the needs of the people are and how we can meet them. I do realize that I am not normal and that most people are not so enthusiastic about research. I think it’s great that Jeanie pointed out how every single one of us do research; about the country we are called to, about the people, through questions that we ask, what we take in as we look around and experience things and so on. This was proven through the exercises that we did in role-playing in the afternoon. It is important for each of us to have a learner’s mentality, especially in the field. I believe it is impossible to truly impact others without having an understanding of the group of people and their culture.
Passion for Ministry
This is another area in which I learned so unbelievably much; I cannot go into detail on everything that I learned. This class was based on Strength Finders and the idea that we focus way to much on each other’s weaknesses and way too little on our strengths. Most things in our life are about improving our weaknesses. Strength Finders points out that it would be much better use of our time to focus on our strengths and start playing to our strengths. Our strengths are able to improve way more than our weaknesses; there is a reason that they are our strengths and our weaknesses.
I realize that this is very hard to grasp and quite un-American; I tried explaining this to people when I got back home and did a very poor job of it. It seems almost impossible for people to understand this concept. I happen to thing it phenomenal and remember thinking “aha” this makes so much more sense. “Free up what’s already in you.”
I had never taken a strengths test before; my top five are: idean, input, command, intellection and woo. You’d have to read the descriptions to really get them, but I think they are pretty accurate. At first I didn’t and was very disappointed in the results; I had expected and wanted other strengths to show up. It really bothered me that three of the five are in the thinking category (the other two are influence), all I kept thinking is “what good is that”. By the end of internship I was quite happy and even excited about my strengths. Hmm, I just realized that I am now doing things here in Colorado Springs that use all five of these gifts; I guess that would explain why I am so excited and happy.
I would like to point out something that I learned during this class; another aha moment. For quite sometime I have not considered myself to be a leader. I have noticed that often I don’t jump into lead if there is someone else to lead. If no one is stepping up, I am pretty quick to step up. I always wondered why I don’t step up right away if I am a leader. Learning about my strengths has revealed this answer; my five strengths together make me a championing personality. This means that I have the ability to champion people and causes; I also love to train leaders, to motivate and to counsel. I love to see others lead and I see no need to lead when others are already are doing so. I also love to start things up, and then train others to step up and take over, then going on to the next project.
I thought that there was something wrong with me, a lack of leadership and a lack of confidences, but it ends up this is just one of my strengths. I also learned that in much of ministry we do not get to see the end results, therefore it is okay to be the one to start things up and not being too focused on the ending. I have also learned from experience that more people are comfortable with taking over something than starting it up. I guess I should be glad that there are people like me in this world. It is just as Jesus said, we are all a part of the body with different functions; without each other we wouldn’t be able to do what we do.
I realize that this is very hard to grasp and quite un-American; I tried explaining this to people when I got back home and did a very poor job of it. It seems almost impossible for people to understand this concept. I happen to thing it phenomenal and remember thinking “aha” this makes so much more sense. “Free up what’s already in you.”
I had never taken a strengths test before; my top five are: idean, input, command, intellection and woo. You’d have to read the descriptions to really get them, but I think they are pretty accurate. At first I didn’t and was very disappointed in the results; I had expected and wanted other strengths to show up. It really bothered me that three of the five are in the thinking category (the other two are influence), all I kept thinking is “what good is that”. By the end of internship I was quite happy and even excited about my strengths. Hmm, I just realized that I am now doing things here in Colorado Springs that use all five of these gifts; I guess that would explain why I am so excited and happy.
I would like to point out something that I learned during this class; another aha moment. For quite sometime I have not considered myself to be a leader. I have noticed that often I don’t jump into lead if there is someone else to lead. If no one is stepping up, I am pretty quick to step up. I always wondered why I don’t step up right away if I am a leader. Learning about my strengths has revealed this answer; my five strengths together make me a championing personality. This means that I have the ability to champion people and causes; I also love to train leaders, to motivate and to counsel. I love to see others lead and I see no need to lead when others are already are doing so. I also love to start things up, and then train others to step up and take over, then going on to the next project.
I thought that there was something wrong with me, a lack of leadership and a lack of confidences, but it ends up this is just one of my strengths. I also learned that in much of ministry we do not get to see the end results, therefore it is okay to be the one to start things up and not being too focused on the ending. I have also learned from experience that more people are comfortable with taking over something than starting it up. I guess I should be glad that there are people like me in this world. It is just as Jesus said, we are all a part of the body with different functions; without each other we wouldn’t be able to do what we do.
Understanding OC Ministry
Passion for Ministry
This is another area in which I learned so unbelievably much; I cannot go into detail on everything that I learned. This class was based on Strength Finders and the idea that we focus way to much on each other’s weaknesses and way too little on our strengths. Most things in our life are about improving our weaknesses. Strength Finders points out that it would be much better use of our time to focus on our strengths and start playing to our strengths. Our strengths are able to improve way more than our weaknesses; there is a reason that they are our strengths and our weaknesses.
I realize that this is very hard to grasp and quite un-American; I tried explaining this to people when I got back home and did a very poor job of it. It seems almost impossible for people to understand this concept. I happen to thing it phenomenal and remember thinking “aha” this makes so much more sense. “Free up what’s already in you.”
I had never taken a strengths test before; my top five are: idean, input, command, intellection and woo. You’d have to read the descriptions to really get them, but I think they are pretty accurate. At first I didn’t and was very disappointed in the results; I had expected and wanted other strengths to show up. It really bothered me that three of the five are in the thinking category (the other two are influence), all I kept thinking is “what good is that”. By the end of internship I was quite happy and even excited about my strengths. Hmm, I just realized that I am now doing things here in Colorado Springs that use all five of these gifts; I guess that would explain why I am so excited and happy.
I would like to point out something that I learned during this class; another aha moment. For quite sometime I have not considered myself to be a leader. I have noticed that often I don’t jump into lead if there is someone else to lead. If no one is stepping up, I am pretty quick to step up. I always wondered why I don’t step up right away if I am a leader. Learning about my strengths has revealed this answer; my five strengths together make me a championing personality. This means that I have the ability to champion people and causes; I also love to train leaders, to motivate and to counsel. I love to see others lead and I see no need to lead when others are already are doing so. I also love to start things up, and then train others to step up and take over, then going on to the next project.
I thought that there was something wrong with me, a lack of leadership and a lack of confidences, but it ends up this is just one of my strengths. I also learned that in much of ministry we do not get to see the end results, therefore it is okay to be the one to start things up and not being too focused on the ending. I have also learned from experience that more people are comfortable with taking over something than starting it up. I guess I should be glad that there are people like me in this world. It is just as Jesus said, we are all a part of the body with different functions; without each other we wouldn’t be able to do what we do.
One of the things that first drew me to OC is their willingness to partner with other churches and desire for a person to be at the right agency for them, not just OC. This understanding that we are all the church, all can make a difference through Christ and that together we can make a bigger impact (hmm, I believe that would be team work). I later was drawn to the fact that OC is about training up leaders; OC is not about being the ones to get the glory and are often not even aware of all their ministry produces. This last part is called servant hood and what I now admire about OC.
I have learned over the years that it is not about numbers, but rather about Christ; only Christ knows whom we are truly reaching. For years people have been trying to get me to focus more on numbers and often show that a ministry without high numbers is not worth having. I do understand that this usually has to do with finances and putting money in the areas that are most productive. But, what about those populations in which are hard to reach and often take more work and have less ‘evidence’ of productivity? Is one or two people not enough; are they not worth helping and ministering to? I think they are.
The value in which I am the most drawn to with OC is that they believe in freedom to see where God is working and to start something up. It is okay to listen to God and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. We have the freedom to do anything God wants us to do. Being a free spirit whom often hears the voice of God, this truly appeals to me. I so often feel as if churches and ministries get so boggled down by programs and planning that they don’t always leave room to hear from and follow the Holy Spirit. OC doesn’t have a program; they would rather tell God stories than OC stories. Nothing speaks more volumes to our walk with Christ than the way that we walk; witness by example.
This is another area in which I learned so unbelievably much; I cannot go into detail on everything that I learned. This class was based on Strength Finders and the idea that we focus way to much on each other’s weaknesses and way too little on our strengths. Most things in our life are about improving our weaknesses. Strength Finders points out that it would be much better use of our time to focus on our strengths and start playing to our strengths. Our strengths are able to improve way more than our weaknesses; there is a reason that they are our strengths and our weaknesses.
I realize that this is very hard to grasp and quite un-American; I tried explaining this to people when I got back home and did a very poor job of it. It seems almost impossible for people to understand this concept. I happen to thing it phenomenal and remember thinking “aha” this makes so much more sense. “Free up what’s already in you.”
I had never taken a strengths test before; my top five are: idean, input, command, intellection and woo. You’d have to read the descriptions to really get them, but I think they are pretty accurate. At first I didn’t and was very disappointed in the results; I had expected and wanted other strengths to show up. It really bothered me that three of the five are in the thinking category (the other two are influence), all I kept thinking is “what good is that”. By the end of internship I was quite happy and even excited about my strengths. Hmm, I just realized that I am now doing things here in Colorado Springs that use all five of these gifts; I guess that would explain why I am so excited and happy.
I would like to point out something that I learned during this class; another aha moment. For quite sometime I have not considered myself to be a leader. I have noticed that often I don’t jump into lead if there is someone else to lead. If no one is stepping up, I am pretty quick to step up. I always wondered why I don’t step up right away if I am a leader. Learning about my strengths has revealed this answer; my five strengths together make me a championing personality. This means that I have the ability to champion people and causes; I also love to train leaders, to motivate and to counsel. I love to see others lead and I see no need to lead when others are already are doing so. I also love to start things up, and then train others to step up and take over, then going on to the next project.
I thought that there was something wrong with me, a lack of leadership and a lack of confidences, but it ends up this is just one of my strengths. I also learned that in much of ministry we do not get to see the end results, therefore it is okay to be the one to start things up and not being too focused on the ending. I have also learned from experience that more people are comfortable with taking over something than starting it up. I guess I should be glad that there are people like me in this world. It is just as Jesus said, we are all a part of the body with different functions; without each other we wouldn’t be able to do what we do.
One of the things that first drew me to OC is their willingness to partner with other churches and desire for a person to be at the right agency for them, not just OC. This understanding that we are all the church, all can make a difference through Christ and that together we can make a bigger impact (hmm, I believe that would be team work). I later was drawn to the fact that OC is about training up leaders; OC is not about being the ones to get the glory and are often not even aware of all their ministry produces. This last part is called servant hood and what I now admire about OC.
I have learned over the years that it is not about numbers, but rather about Christ; only Christ knows whom we are truly reaching. For years people have been trying to get me to focus more on numbers and often show that a ministry without high numbers is not worth having. I do understand that this usually has to do with finances and putting money in the areas that are most productive. But, what about those populations in which are hard to reach and often take more work and have less ‘evidence’ of productivity? Is one or two people not enough; are they not worth helping and ministering to? I think they are.
The value in which I am the most drawn to with OC is that they believe in freedom to see where God is working and to start something up. It is okay to listen to God and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. We have the freedom to do anything God wants us to do. Being a free spirit whom often hears the voice of God, this truly appeals to me. I so often feel as if churches and ministries get so boggled down by programs and planning that they don’t always leave room to hear from and follow the Holy Spirit. OC doesn’t have a program; they would rather tell God stories than OC stories. Nothing speaks more volumes to our walk with Christ than the way that we walk; witness by example.
Spiritual Warfare
Boy did I learn a whole lot about Spiritual Warfare this summer! I grew up in an Assemblies of God church and have dealt with demonic forces on numerous accounts, but this was so much more. I personally went through the warfare and had demons cast out of me; I will share my testimony at a later time. As I stated before, I am quite aware of spiritual warfare and that satan is on the prowl. Unfortunately, there are many people whom are not aware of this or even believe that satan exists. That is a whole other topic. As I mentioned in my last article there are satanist praying against the spiritual leaders of our city. Steve mentioned that they have a list of every pastor and they pray against them from midnight until 3 am, if that isn’t spiritual warfare, I don’t know what is.
Some of the key elements that I learned in this class are if we don’t send the demons back to Jesus, when we cast them out, they will find someone else to attach to. This is very important in a deliverance session, because the spirit will attach itself to someone else in the room. It was interesting to learn that when we pray and ask the Holy Spirit to come, but don’t ask specifically for the Holy one, another spirit will most likely come instead. The third thing that I found fascinating was that the sins and spirits that we have dealt with are easily attacked with in a room with someone else that is dealing with this sin. If we are in a room and start struggling with one of the sins that we have already dealt with, then it is most likely because someone else in the room is struggling. I found this to be true very quickly after internship. I had done tons of spiritual clean up and had a very clean Spirit. I immediately felt the spirits of others and could tell what they struggle with (I often do any ways due to the gift of discernment, but it had never been so strong); it wasn’t long before I was once again struggling these same issues.
At first I freaked out and was scared about dealing with the same things over again. I was insistently trying to pray them out and find others to do deliverance once again. After meeting with Steve and Joe, my focus shifted from these struggles and spirits to Christ and His promises. It wasn’t long before the truth shut the door on the enemy. I was reminded of what a Rabbi once told me, that when bankers are trained to identify a counterfeit, they study the real thing not the counterfeit, that way they will know the real thing so well that they will be able to spy a counterfeit immediately.
I wish I could say that I am out of the woods and will never have to experience spiritual warfare again, if I were to believe this I would only be kidding myself. The truth is that there will be warfare all throughout my life, especially in Africa where warfare is even more rampant. I have to be reminded to focus more on Christ and to not worry about the attacks of satan. Every day I have to visually put on the armor of God, for He is the only protection I have from the enemy. I am thankful that we have such a big and powerful God and that through the blood of Jesus Christ we have the power to speak against any spirit that is not of God.
Some of the key elements that I learned in this class are if we don’t send the demons back to Jesus, when we cast them out, they will find someone else to attach to. This is very important in a deliverance session, because the spirit will attach itself to someone else in the room. It was interesting to learn that when we pray and ask the Holy Spirit to come, but don’t ask specifically for the Holy one, another spirit will most likely come instead. The third thing that I found fascinating was that the sins and spirits that we have dealt with are easily attacked with in a room with someone else that is dealing with this sin. If we are in a room and start struggling with one of the sins that we have already dealt with, then it is most likely because someone else in the room is struggling. I found this to be true very quickly after internship. I had done tons of spiritual clean up and had a very clean Spirit. I immediately felt the spirits of others and could tell what they struggle with (I often do any ways due to the gift of discernment, but it had never been so strong); it wasn’t long before I was once again struggling these same issues.
At first I freaked out and was scared about dealing with the same things over again. I was insistently trying to pray them out and find others to do deliverance once again. After meeting with Steve and Joe, my focus shifted from these struggles and spirits to Christ and His promises. It wasn’t long before the truth shut the door on the enemy. I was reminded of what a Rabbi once told me, that when bankers are trained to identify a counterfeit, they study the real thing not the counterfeit, that way they will know the real thing so well that they will be able to spy a counterfeit immediately.
I wish I could say that I am out of the woods and will never have to experience spiritual warfare again, if I were to believe this I would only be kidding myself. The truth is that there will be warfare all throughout my life, especially in Africa where warfare is even more rampant. I have to be reminded to focus more on Christ and to not worry about the attacks of satan. Every day I have to visually put on the armor of God, for He is the only protection I have from the enemy. I am thankful that we have such a big and powerful God and that through the blood of Jesus Christ we have the power to speak against any spirit that is not of God.
Moral Purity
It is so easy to assume that a missionary or any other person in leadership is pure. Anyone whom watches the news knows that this is not true. I learned from this class that there are satanist in Manitou whom actively pray for the top leadership of Christian’s downfall; sexual temptations is one of the ways in which satan accomplishes this. As a spiritual leader, we are not less prone to temptation; I believe that we are more prone to it. Satan will attack those who are making a difference for the kingdom more than those who aren’t. I have heard it once said that those in leadership don’t need less prayer, they need more.
I also learned that immorality among missionaries has risen exponentially since 1942. Sexual temptations are greater on the mission field than at home, probably due to loneliness. So much so that Missions agencies don’t ask if you’ve looked at pornography, but when you last looked at pornography. They ask a lot of questions about one’s purity, any struggles we have had and what we have/are doing to over come them. I am quite aware, as are most people, of sexual temptations. It has been a tough battle, but God has brought me to the point of purity. God put it on my heart months ago to start up a group for women whom are struggling with purity. (I will share this with you all more at a later time.) I appreciated the fact that OC acknowledges this difficulty and the reality of the struggle on the mission’s field. Ralph and Joyce shared great strategies to remain pure. For any of you whom haven’t read Every Woman’s Battle (or Every Man’s Battle), I highly recommend you do, both singles and married. I believe it is not only important to know about our potential downfalls or even how to avoid them, but it is extremely important for us to have a game plan in place to stop any chances of something becoming more.
I also learned that immorality among missionaries has risen exponentially since 1942. Sexual temptations are greater on the mission field than at home, probably due to loneliness. So much so that Missions agencies don’t ask if you’ve looked at pornography, but when you last looked at pornography. They ask a lot of questions about one’s purity, any struggles we have had and what we have/are doing to over come them. I am quite aware, as are most people, of sexual temptations. It has been a tough battle, but God has brought me to the point of purity. God put it on my heart months ago to start up a group for women whom are struggling with purity. (I will share this with you all more at a later time.) I appreciated the fact that OC acknowledges this difficulty and the reality of the struggle on the mission’s field. Ralph and Joyce shared great strategies to remain pure. For any of you whom haven’t read Every Woman’s Battle (or Every Man’s Battle), I highly recommend you do, both singles and married. I believe it is not only important to know about our potential downfalls or even how to avoid them, but it is extremely important for us to have a game plan in place to stop any chances of something becoming more.
Single Life
I appreciate that single life was presented as a gift, not a ‘disease’. So often people act as if being single is the worst possible thing; I beg to differ. Even though I do want to eventually be married and have a family, I have come to terms with singleness. I believe that I have learned so much about myself that I may not have were I to still be married. I appreciate that OC finds it important to let marrieds know the needs of singles. It was great to break off into groups and have the singles discuss what they wish married people knew and then have the married people discuss the advantages of having a single person on the team.
I appreciate that OC views us as a person with a life and acknowledges that we don’t necessarily have more time than someone whom is married. I really appreciate Diane pointing out that we as singles need a listening ear at times. Married people usually have their spouses to talk through things with; it’s important to get another perspective at times. Opposite of family life, I think it’s important for families to remember to include a single person at times.
I agree that as a single, often my greatest enemy is self-pity; that and loneliness. It is my responsibility to make my needs known and not just expect others to know and meet them. It is also important for me to remember that not all of my needs will be met. I really think that this is true of all people, not just singles. Even in marriage we have to make our needs known and realize that our spouse cannot meet all of our needs.
The most important thing for me to have heard was that I need to allow couples to do the things for me that I am wanting and asking them to do, without feeling bad or like a mooch. I can often be too independent and don’t always like others to do things for me, yet I can get frustrated that I am having to do so much on my own; a bit of an oxymoron. I already have to put this into practice as I am hunting for a job and need assistance from others. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing process as a missionary; I will have to get used to having to ask for support from others and allowing them to support me. It is a good, humbling experience.
I appreciate that OC views us as a person with a life and acknowledges that we don’t necessarily have more time than someone whom is married. I really appreciate Diane pointing out that we as singles need a listening ear at times. Married people usually have their spouses to talk through things with; it’s important to get another perspective at times. Opposite of family life, I think it’s important for families to remember to include a single person at times.
I agree that as a single, often my greatest enemy is self-pity; that and loneliness. It is my responsibility to make my needs known and not just expect others to know and meet them. It is also important for me to remember that not all of my needs will be met. I really think that this is true of all people, not just singles. Even in marriage we have to make our needs known and realize that our spouse cannot meet all of our needs.
The most important thing for me to have heard was that I need to allow couples to do the things for me that I am wanting and asking them to do, without feeling bad or like a mooch. I can often be too independent and don’t always like others to do things for me, yet I can get frustrated that I am having to do so much on my own; a bit of an oxymoron. I already have to put this into practice as I am hunting for a job and need assistance from others. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing process as a missionary; I will have to get used to having to ask for support from others and allowing them to support me. It is a good, humbling experience.
Family Life
Even though I don’t have my own family as of yet, I think it very important to be prepared as to how I want my family life to look and to know my values. Deanne and Jeff did a great job of relaying the needs of MKs and the challenges of raising kids in the field. I love that OC puts family first and that it is better to ‘cheat’ your job than your family, if you have to. Family is our first responsibility and main one that God has given us, anything else is extra; even on the mission field. It’s so easy for us to justify putting our ministry first, because it is in the name of God. I know many people whom do just that.
I can see how this could be an issue for both males and females. I can also foresee myself struggling with this once I have a family. I imagine that it will be difficult to change my focus and maybe even give up aspects of my ministry in order to raise my children. This is why I believe it is probably better to know this value ahead of time, so that this value is more important than what I am giving up. Besides I will be gaining bushels and bushels, as well.
I found it helpful to learn how difficult it is for MKs to move and to have to go on furlough and travel a lot. We tend to put a lot of pressure on MKs to be perfect and also forget how difficult transition is. I agree that it is important to talk them through the transition, be there for them, not freak out when they come to me and allow them to make mistakes.
As a single, it was important to be reminded that it is easy to bombard a family. As with anything, it is good to have my emotional needs met by more than one person or family and even more important to allow God to meet those needs. It is also important to allow families to have family time. One day I will want singles to respect me in this same manner.
I can see how this could be an issue for both males and females. I can also foresee myself struggling with this once I have a family. I imagine that it will be difficult to change my focus and maybe even give up aspects of my ministry in order to raise my children. This is why I believe it is probably better to know this value ahead of time, so that this value is more important than what I am giving up. Besides I will be gaining bushels and bushels, as well.
I found it helpful to learn how difficult it is for MKs to move and to have to go on furlough and travel a lot. We tend to put a lot of pressure on MKs to be perfect and also forget how difficult transition is. I agree that it is important to talk them through the transition, be there for them, not freak out when they come to me and allow them to make mistakes.
As a single, it was important to be reminded that it is easy to bombard a family. As with anything, it is good to have my emotional needs met by more than one person or family and even more important to allow God to meet those needs. It is also important to allow families to have family time. One day I will want singles to respect me in this same manner.
Integration Into Team
It is a little frustrating to realize that no matter how much I know about working in team or how well I do it, doesn’t mean that I will be integrated. There will still be times and situations in which I will have a different desire, be at a different place in life and just not mesh as well with personalities on my team. This is true all throughout life, but I guess I had hoped it would be different on the mission field. In my mind I would go to Mozambique, meet my team, get to know them, become friends and all live happily ever after; at least within the team. Here ends the fairy tale.
In real life some people are introverts and others are extraverts, some prefer to play sports and others prefer to read, some enjoy going out to eat others enjoy cooking, some are married others are single, some are American others are Mozambiquean; we are different (shock I know). It ends up that just because I am single doesn’t mean that I will be invited to holidays; I may have to spend the holiday alone. How depressing that is, but I might as well accept that now. I can either be sad, or prepared.
I also know that there will be some integration; it is pretty rare to not get close to and become friends with anyone on a team. I know that God will bless me with the friends that He Himself has picked out for me. Plus, I enjoy down time and time to myself, so being at home by myself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s good to have balance.
In real life some people are introverts and others are extraverts, some prefer to play sports and others prefer to read, some enjoy going out to eat others enjoy cooking, some are married others are single, some are American others are Mozambiquean; we are different (shock I know). It ends up that just because I am single doesn’t mean that I will be invited to holidays; I may have to spend the holiday alone. How depressing that is, but I might as well accept that now. I can either be sad, or prepared.
I also know that there will be some integration; it is pretty rare to not get close to and become friends with anyone on a team. I know that God will bless me with the friends that He Himself has picked out for me. Plus, I enjoy down time and time to myself, so being at home by myself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s good to have balance.
Conflict Resolution
I don’t have enough time to go into all that I learned and have processed due to our class on conflict resolution. I am so grateful for this class, especially having just come out of two very conflicting situations where I hadn’t dealt with the conflict in a very positive manner. It was helpful to see how we tend to react in conflict, as well as the Godly way to deal with it. I especially found the stages of conflict to be beneficial. It is good to notice conflict arising before it gets out of hand and becomes a war.
I am still unsure of how to deal with conflict in a healthy manner when the other person isn’t dealing with it in a healthy manner. In some cases I can get away from the situation and not have to deal with it when they won’t work on it with me. In my friendships and with the many people I know and love, I am able to step away and then come back and work through it. But, in other cases, with people whom remain in my life, it is not this easy. Whether it be a boss, a co-worker, a roommate, a relative or someone else you just can’t get away from, how do you still respond in a Godly manner? I can’t force them to talk about it, work through things, compromise or even be willing to talk with a third party, so then what? Do I just ignore it? I know I work through my end of things still, but how do you then become reconciled?
I am learning how to walk away or end a conversation when it escalates and becomes inappropriate. Sometimes it’s just not that easy. How do you walk away from a boss whom won’t stop yelling at you or pointing out how terrible you are? How many times do you just find another job or another roommate? That can become an issue in itself. I guess I am having to still learn how to deal with difficult people. I know they are everywhere; I can be one myself at times. I am grateful to at least know how to resolve conflict with others whom are willing.
I am still unsure of how to deal with conflict in a healthy manner when the other person isn’t dealing with it in a healthy manner. In some cases I can get away from the situation and not have to deal with it when they won’t work on it with me. In my friendships and with the many people I know and love, I am able to step away and then come back and work through it. But, in other cases, with people whom remain in my life, it is not this easy. Whether it be a boss, a co-worker, a roommate, a relative or someone else you just can’t get away from, how do you still respond in a Godly manner? I can’t force them to talk about it, work through things, compromise or even be willing to talk with a third party, so then what? Do I just ignore it? I know I work through my end of things still, but how do you then become reconciled?
I am learning how to walk away or end a conversation when it escalates and becomes inappropriate. Sometimes it’s just not that easy. How do you walk away from a boss whom won’t stop yelling at you or pointing out how terrible you are? How many times do you just find another job or another roommate? That can become an issue in itself. I guess I am having to still learn how to deal with difficult people. I know they are everywhere; I can be one myself at times. I am grateful to at least know how to resolve conflict with others whom are willing.
Grace Based Community
Dave and Debbie did such a great job of presenting this. I completely agree that nobody needs the Gospels quite like missionaries. I think it is very important for me to remember that, because it is easy to think that I have it all figured out and that it is just my responsibility to bring the Gospel to others. It is first and foremost my responsibility to nourish myself, so that I am able to give to others. This whole study reminded me of my worth and place in Christ.
This is another area that God has been working on for awhile. When you spend most of your years hearing that you are not good enough; that you need to work harder, do more and be better; that you can’t do this or that; and are put into a box in which you are not allowed to get out of, it takes quite a lot to start believing the good things and that you can have more. I have gone through other studies on being a child of God instead of an orphan, it sticks for a while, but then I seem to forget. It obviously hasn’t reached my heart, but God intends to change that for this topic seems to keep coming up. Even now, I can’t get away from it. At first I intended to take a class on this and am now finding myself teaching a class on this. How did that happen? I may be the least qualified to teach this, but I know that by teaching something you really have to get it to be any good at teaching it. I think God may have a plan. I’m so glad that He does I know that I am a child of God and that with this comes many inheritances. I want to believe it, as well. I want to start acknowledging God’s promises and start accepting them. I am sick of having my emotions attached to what others think of me; it’s time that I put them where they belong, with Christ. It is only with Him that there is stability and safety. It is time to get off of the roller coaster.
This is another area that God has been working on for awhile. When you spend most of your years hearing that you are not good enough; that you need to work harder, do more and be better; that you can’t do this or that; and are put into a box in which you are not allowed to get out of, it takes quite a lot to start believing the good things and that you can have more. I have gone through other studies on being a child of God instead of an orphan, it sticks for a while, but then I seem to forget. It obviously hasn’t reached my heart, but God intends to change that for this topic seems to keep coming up. Even now, I can’t get away from it. At first I intended to take a class on this and am now finding myself teaching a class on this. How did that happen? I may be the least qualified to teach this, but I know that by teaching something you really have to get it to be any good at teaching it. I think God may have a plan. I’m so glad that He does I know that I am a child of God and that with this comes many inheritances. I want to believe it, as well. I want to start acknowledging God’s promises and start accepting them. I am sick of having my emotions attached to what others think of me; it’s time that I put them where they belong, with Christ. It is only with Him that there is stability and safety. It is time to get off of the roller coaster.
TNT Games
Everyone should get the opportunity to experience TNT Games at least once in their lifetime; especially with a dynamite team like the Green Team. This was a very fun, challenging, nerve wrecking and upsetting experience. I can’t believe you guys purposely set it up for us to push each others buttons and have conflict! I guess that is bound to happen when you put 3 Ds together and add competition. It was actually so much fun figuring out the puzzles and problems.
I was very impressed with how well our team worked together, especially when we were still getting to know each other. We knew going in that we were going to be very competitive and each of us had a tendency to want to lead, so we made a pact to not be so focused on winning, but rather on still liking each other at the end of the week. In spite of one difficulty, we accomplished just this. What is the one difficulty, you might ask?
Well, there was one game in which we had figured out the puzzle, but were told we hadn’t. We would have been in second place instead, we ended up in last place, earning 500 more points less than we would have. (Just because we weren’t focused on winning, doesn’t mean we weren’t competitive.) Not only did I feel gypped, but I also felt as if the response from others wasn’t very compassionate; my fellow teammates were also hurt. We had to stay after and debrief, then work on it on our own and then still talk about it. This affected our next game a lot, especially when it was brought up right before our next game, bringing back hurt feelings. I can’t speak for my teammates, but I felt defeated and didn’t see much purpose in trying any more (I guess I was more focused on winning than I wanted to admit). I had a horrible attitude and it came out in my game; not very sportsman like. I think we had to debrief that game even more than the previous. This was the second to last game, but we meant what we said and wanted to end liking each other, which included liking everyone else, as well. Once we figured out the points (so we’re Ds, we can’t help it) and realized that it wasn’t possible for us to win, all of a sudden winning didn’t matter. Our attitudes did. It also helped that we were paired with the team we were competing with and had to work together. I guess you could call this our ‘magic line’ because we not only finished our last game triumphantly, but we liked each other more than we had when we had started the games at the beginning of the week.
I was very impressed with how well our team worked together, especially when we were still getting to know each other. We knew going in that we were going to be very competitive and each of us had a tendency to want to lead, so we made a pact to not be so focused on winning, but rather on still liking each other at the end of the week. In spite of one difficulty, we accomplished just this. What is the one difficulty, you might ask?
Well, there was one game in which we had figured out the puzzle, but were told we hadn’t. We would have been in second place instead, we ended up in last place, earning 500 more points less than we would have. (Just because we weren’t focused on winning, doesn’t mean we weren’t competitive.) Not only did I feel gypped, but I also felt as if the response from others wasn’t very compassionate; my fellow teammates were also hurt. We had to stay after and debrief, then work on it on our own and then still talk about it. This affected our next game a lot, especially when it was brought up right before our next game, bringing back hurt feelings. I can’t speak for my teammates, but I felt defeated and didn’t see much purpose in trying any more (I guess I was more focused on winning than I wanted to admit). I had a horrible attitude and it came out in my game; not very sportsman like. I think we had to debrief that game even more than the previous. This was the second to last game, but we meant what we said and wanted to end liking each other, which included liking everyone else, as well. Once we figured out the points (so we’re Ds, we can’t help it) and realized that it wasn’t possible for us to win, all of a sudden winning didn’t matter. Our attitudes did. It also helped that we were paired with the team we were competing with and had to work together. I guess you could call this our ‘magic line’ because we not only finished our last game triumphantly, but we liked each other more than we had when we had started the games at the beginning of the week.
Whitewater Rafting
Whitewater rafting; do I really need to say more? Ok, maybe I do. I have been rafting many, many times, I have even been on 4s and 5s; none of the times compare to this one! This year was one of the most dangerous ever (I enjoyed that), due to waters being at an all time high. The levels are normally something like 150, whatever they measure it at, and this year it was up to 400 and something, when we went it was at 380. This makes the waters very fast; what is normally a 3-hour trip ended up being an hour and ½. This also ups the danger of it and chances of tipping, being thrown out (just ask some of the other protégés) and even drowning. I had been down that route before, but this year it was much different. What is normally 3s now became 3s and 4s; a rapid that is usually simple became almost non-existent and a rapid that is a little more difficult became much more difficult and very flippen scary (I haven’t been afraid on a rapid in decades).
You may ask “why whitewater rafting”? We’re training to be missionaries right? So what does rafting have to do with anything? I thought it was to give us a break from work and emotional drama being brought up (not all of my teammates would agree with the idea of this being a break). Not with Steve as our facilitator! It was soon apparent that everything has much deeper meaning and had a lesson involved. And you all thought you were supporting me to sit back, relax, eat gourmet food, camp all summer and have adventure! Wrong! We actually had to work and boy did we; shoot, it’s the 11th of September and we are still working. I am glad though, cause I am not the same now as I was a few months ago. Can we all say AMEN?!
Ok, back to whitewater rafting… Once encouraged to, I actually learned a lot from this experience. The first thing I learned was of my fellow protégés courage and willingness to try something that they never, ever wanted to try. Rebecca’s courage was especially admirable, for she was the most afraid. It was great to see this and to have a whole new respect for my fellow teammate. Being the first day of ‘teamwork’, this was especially useful. My Green Team didn’t only show courage, but the ability to support, encourage and uplift each other.
That brings me to the other big thing that I learned – teamwork. Each of our rafts was a team; we had to work together, listen to each other, follow guidance, put aside what we believed to be better, trust the leader and his knowledge as well as the fact that the other teammates would also do their part. It wasn’t just a matter of choosing to work together, we had to; our lives depended on it. The most interesting thing to me was that I didn’t even realize that I was working as a team. It may seem obvious, but I was much too excited and focused on the task to notice.
Why is it that it is much easier to submit and work together when it is fun and exciting than any other time, especially for me? Does that mean that life should just be this way (if only) and then it would be that much easier? Sure that sounds great, but the excitement would eventually wear off and I would probably be exhausted. Then I would be where I am now. I guess it would just be better to learn how to let go and trust God; even in the circumstances where I don’t necessarily agree with the way things are going. Whonuu whitewater rafting could be so educational?
You may ask “why whitewater rafting”? We’re training to be missionaries right? So what does rafting have to do with anything? I thought it was to give us a break from work and emotional drama being brought up (not all of my teammates would agree with the idea of this being a break). Not with Steve as our facilitator! It was soon apparent that everything has much deeper meaning and had a lesson involved. And you all thought you were supporting me to sit back, relax, eat gourmet food, camp all summer and have adventure! Wrong! We actually had to work and boy did we; shoot, it’s the 11th of September and we are still working. I am glad though, cause I am not the same now as I was a few months ago. Can we all say AMEN?!
Ok, back to whitewater rafting… Once encouraged to, I actually learned a lot from this experience. The first thing I learned was of my fellow protégés courage and willingness to try something that they never, ever wanted to try. Rebecca’s courage was especially admirable, for she was the most afraid. It was great to see this and to have a whole new respect for my fellow teammate. Being the first day of ‘teamwork’, this was especially useful. My Green Team didn’t only show courage, but the ability to support, encourage and uplift each other.
That brings me to the other big thing that I learned – teamwork. Each of our rafts was a team; we had to work together, listen to each other, follow guidance, put aside what we believed to be better, trust the leader and his knowledge as well as the fact that the other teammates would also do their part. It wasn’t just a matter of choosing to work together, we had to; our lives depended on it. The most interesting thing to me was that I didn’t even realize that I was working as a team. It may seem obvious, but I was much too excited and focused on the task to notice.
Why is it that it is much easier to submit and work together when it is fun and exciting than any other time, especially for me? Does that mean that life should just be this way (if only) and then it would be that much easier? Sure that sounds great, but the excitement would eventually wear off and I would probably be exhausted. Then I would be where I am now. I guess it would just be better to learn how to let go and trust God; even in the circumstances where I don’t necessarily agree with the way things are going. Whonuu whitewater rafting could be so educational?
T.E.A.M
This has been a bit of a difficult topic for me to grasp. I have been single for a long time and have learned to be quite independent. Through divorce I learned that I have to do the things a husband will normally do. Through my upbringing and things that have happened in life, I have learned that there aren’t many people I can trust. I thought I had worked through this and in many ways I have, but it has become quite apparent that God is not done with me on this. I am now aware that I still trust myself more than others. Through my work experiences I have had to do a lot on my own; I have rarely had many co-workers and the ones that I have had weren’t always the best example of team.
This is not to say that I have never trusted anyone or that I have never had good workers. For that is not true, I have a lot of friends that I trust whole-heartedly and have had co-workers whom have become those friends. But, for the most part, I work alone. This summer I discovered that I am working a lot harder than I have to. For it is true, that Together Everyone Accomplishes More. Plus, there is then support, people to bounce ideas off of and to help with decision-making. It is also a whole lot more fun! Well, at least in a healthy environment. I am just learning what that means and intend to find out more.
It is taking a lot and will take a lot more for the benefits of team to really sink in, but I know that God has every intention of teaching this to me. As with many of my experiences in life, I have not had good, healthy examples of team, so it is still hard for me to grasp what this looks like. The entire group at Lifeworks this summer was a great example of this, especially my Green Team. We got a long so well and though we didn’t always agree we worked well together, we also did a great job of lovingly working through things and processing. I couldn’t of asked for a better team or a better example of a healthy team; many people called us the dream team – we worked that well together.
I do realize that not every team situation will be this divine, but hopefully as I grow in this area I will be able to be a healthy, valuable teammate. OC is also a great example of a healthy team; I have felt nothing but support and love from OC since day 1. It appears that God wants to teach me the idea of teamwork and the benefits, because every thing that I am involved in now have amazing teams. Don’t get me wrong, they are not perfect, but what is? Some circumstances have required a lot of negotiating and compromising, but we have worked through each thing fairly easily and grow closer each time. I think this is healthy and an important part of being a team.
This is not to say that I have never trusted anyone or that I have never had good workers. For that is not true, I have a lot of friends that I trust whole-heartedly and have had co-workers whom have become those friends. But, for the most part, I work alone. This summer I discovered that I am working a lot harder than I have to. For it is true, that Together Everyone Accomplishes More. Plus, there is then support, people to bounce ideas off of and to help with decision-making. It is also a whole lot more fun! Well, at least in a healthy environment. I am just learning what that means and intend to find out more.
It is taking a lot and will take a lot more for the benefits of team to really sink in, but I know that God has every intention of teaching this to me. As with many of my experiences in life, I have not had good, healthy examples of team, so it is still hard for me to grasp what this looks like. The entire group at Lifeworks this summer was a great example of this, especially my Green Team. We got a long so well and though we didn’t always agree we worked well together, we also did a great job of lovingly working through things and processing. I couldn’t of asked for a better team or a better example of a healthy team; many people called us the dream team – we worked that well together.
I do realize that not every team situation will be this divine, but hopefully as I grow in this area I will be able to be a healthy, valuable teammate. OC is also a great example of a healthy team; I have felt nothing but support and love from OC since day 1. It appears that God wants to teach me the idea of teamwork and the benefits, because every thing that I am involved in now have amazing teams. Don’t get me wrong, they are not perfect, but what is? Some circumstances have required a lot of negotiating and compromising, but we have worked through each thing fairly easily and grow closer each time. I think this is healthy and an important part of being a team.
Unique Design
Each and every one of us has a unique design; not one of us is the same. God has made us all different in order to serve different purposes, His purposes. My unique design was discovered through testing with Myers Briggs, DISC, Strength Finders, Spiritual Gifting and doing life mapping. Then, through evaluating these I was able to understand what each thing meant and specifically what it meant for me. I also learned about how this also makes me different from others.
It may seem that an ENFJ will be the same as the next ENFJ and that an ENFP isn’t that much different. I am an ENFP, two of my teammates were ENFJs and another was an INFJ. Three of us were D personalities and each of us had a few strengths and spiritual gifts that were the same. I was quick to conclude that we therefore were much the same in our thinking, how we learn, react and interact. Thus concluding that how I do each of these things must be how each of them would do it. Boy was I wrong! I was looking at each thing separately instead of putting the whole picture together. It is not possible to separate each part of us, for it all blends together to make up our hard wiring. When you put it all together every single one of us is different.
It is often difficult for me to accept this. I so often want to put each person in a box and figure out how it is that I am supposed to interact with him or her. As an exhorter, I often want to fix others and in my arrogance I often think that looks like how I think and do things. I have a tendency to try to control others and am learning how to give God control with everything, including others. He is working on my insecurities and accepting our ‘uniqueness’. I believe, or maybe it’s hope, that my wanting to control and fix is my way of relating and trying to understand others; it would be much more simple if that looked the way I know. Life is not that simple; there is no formula of how each person works and how we should interact with them. We are much more complex than that! I guess this is why God tells us to treat others with love, respect and the fruits of the Spirit. We aren’t to figure each person out; we will go insane trying and end up more confused than when we started. Instead it is better to reframe and enjoy the uniqueness of each person and how this uniqueness can add to each other’s strengths, help out in our weaknesses and encourage us. How boring it would be if we were all the same; we are much more beautiful in our uniqueness.
It may seem that an ENFJ will be the same as the next ENFJ and that an ENFP isn’t that much different. I am an ENFP, two of my teammates were ENFJs and another was an INFJ. Three of us were D personalities and each of us had a few strengths and spiritual gifts that were the same. I was quick to conclude that we therefore were much the same in our thinking, how we learn, react and interact. Thus concluding that how I do each of these things must be how each of them would do it. Boy was I wrong! I was looking at each thing separately instead of putting the whole picture together. It is not possible to separate each part of us, for it all blends together to make up our hard wiring. When you put it all together every single one of us is different.
It is often difficult for me to accept this. I so often want to put each person in a box and figure out how it is that I am supposed to interact with him or her. As an exhorter, I often want to fix others and in my arrogance I often think that looks like how I think and do things. I have a tendency to try to control others and am learning how to give God control with everything, including others. He is working on my insecurities and accepting our ‘uniqueness’. I believe, or maybe it’s hope, that my wanting to control and fix is my way of relating and trying to understand others; it would be much more simple if that looked the way I know. Life is not that simple; there is no formula of how each person works and how we should interact with them. We are much more complex than that! I guess this is why God tells us to treat others with love, respect and the fruits of the Spirit. We aren’t to figure each person out; we will go insane trying and end up more confused than when we started. Instead it is better to reframe and enjoy the uniqueness of each person and how this uniqueness can add to each other’s strengths, help out in our weaknesses and encourage us. How boring it would be if we were all the same; we are much more beautiful in our uniqueness.
Reframing
Reframing has also been a useful tool. Life is full of hurtful experiences. Many of which I have held on to. Taking the hurtful experiences, picturing it as I see it now and then picturing how God wants me to see it, has helped bring much healing.
It’s very similar to EMDR and Theophostic ministry. With EMDR one listens to a ticking that moves from one ear to another or watches an object move from one side to the other. During this you are focusing on a hurtful issue, while focusing feelings and other things related to this come up and then you focus on each of these things. The idea is that there is more to the hurt than the event itself and once you get to the root of the feeling associated with this event you will no longer have any hurt attached to this memory. You will still remember, but feel nothing. I went through this on numerous things and was promised that this works every time; it worked on each of my issues.
Theophostic is similar to this, but it is giving the issue and hurt to God, allowing Him to speak truth to the lies that you believe about the event. Once God reveals the truth you no longer believe the lie, thus being able to move on and not have it affect other areas in your life. Just as in EMDR, you remember the event, but with no emotion.
Unlike EMDR and Theophostic ministry, reframing seems to be much more direct and a bit quicker to resolve the negative emotion. You do not have to be able to put words to the event or even express exactly how you feel. You just draw, talk about, pray, journal, whatever medium works for you, the experience and how you remember it. It doesn’t even seem to matter how factual it is, just how you perceive it. As you reframe, you release the pain. God then helps us to see the event differently, the way He is seeing it. Now when we see the experience, we feel no pain. This also leads to forgiveness towards any one whom was a part of this or that we just may be angry at due to the event. Sometimes life doesn’t always go the way that we want it to. We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we are going to view it. We can hang onto our hurt or we can reframe it and let God hang it in a new and decorative manner. Does this mean that what has happened disappears and we no longer have to remember it? Absolutely not! The past is still the past, it’s just that all of a sudden we are aware that it is the past and we still have a future to look forward to.
It’s very similar to EMDR and Theophostic ministry. With EMDR one listens to a ticking that moves from one ear to another or watches an object move from one side to the other. During this you are focusing on a hurtful issue, while focusing feelings and other things related to this come up and then you focus on each of these things. The idea is that there is more to the hurt than the event itself and once you get to the root of the feeling associated with this event you will no longer have any hurt attached to this memory. You will still remember, but feel nothing. I went through this on numerous things and was promised that this works every time; it worked on each of my issues.
Theophostic is similar to this, but it is giving the issue and hurt to God, allowing Him to speak truth to the lies that you believe about the event. Once God reveals the truth you no longer believe the lie, thus being able to move on and not have it affect other areas in your life. Just as in EMDR, you remember the event, but with no emotion.
Unlike EMDR and Theophostic ministry, reframing seems to be much more direct and a bit quicker to resolve the negative emotion. You do not have to be able to put words to the event or even express exactly how you feel. You just draw, talk about, pray, journal, whatever medium works for you, the experience and how you remember it. It doesn’t even seem to matter how factual it is, just how you perceive it. As you reframe, you release the pain. God then helps us to see the event differently, the way He is seeing it. Now when we see the experience, we feel no pain. This also leads to forgiveness towards any one whom was a part of this or that we just may be angry at due to the event. Sometimes life doesn’t always go the way that we want it to. We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we are going to view it. We can hang onto our hurt or we can reframe it and let God hang it in a new and decorative manner. Does this mean that what has happened disappears and we no longer have to remember it? Absolutely not! The past is still the past, it’s just that all of a sudden we are aware that it is the past and we still have a future to look forward to.
Life Mapping
This just may be the greatest tool from the whole summer! I learned about mapping back in elementary school and used it all throughout school, but seemed to have forgotten it as an adult. How on earth could such a thing happen? For one who does not think in a linear fashion, mapping is a great way to get all ones ideas out, sit back look at what was written and see common denominators and how to apply them. Life mapping helps me to focus and be able to put my thoughts into words; I need to remember to use this technique all throughout my life.
The most beneficial part of life mapping was when my team met with Steve for more guidance. By putting my MBTI, DISC, Strengths, Spiritual Gifts, dreams, relational talent and life mission all onto separate life maps, spreading them all out in front of me and noticing common denominators I was able to finaly understand my personality and life purpose; for the first time I saw what God has made me for and why I am the way that I am. Processing this with Steve and my team plus, getting feedback helped to make sense of so many things. I was aware of most of these things separately, but didn’t see how they fit together or that who I am, how I deal with and respond to things, what I can and cannot do are all good. I am exactly the way God wants for me to be; warts, struggles, faults and all.
It is so important for me to understand this. It does not mean that I am perfect, nor do I have permission to stop working on things, but rather that I can accept myself the way I am thus, being more effective in my ministry. By having grace on myself, I am able to have grace on others
The most beneficial part of life mapping was when my team met with Steve for more guidance. By putting my MBTI, DISC, Strengths, Spiritual Gifts, dreams, relational talent and life mission all onto separate life maps, spreading them all out in front of me and noticing common denominators I was able to finaly understand my personality and life purpose; for the first time I saw what God has made me for and why I am the way that I am. Processing this with Steve and my team plus, getting feedback helped to make sense of so many things. I was aware of most of these things separately, but didn’t see how they fit together or that who I am, how I deal with and respond to things, what I can and cannot do are all good. I am exactly the way God wants for me to be; warts, struggles, faults and all.
It is so important for me to understand this. It does not mean that I am perfect, nor do I have permission to stop working on things, but rather that I can accept myself the way I am thus, being more effective in my ministry. By having grace on myself, I am able to have grace on others
First Daughter
Mia believed that she was different than everyone else and that her life would never be normal. Of course this is a lie, but how easy is it for us to believe these things? Though this wasn’t a movie about spiritual warfare, this is such a spiritual warfare issue. The devil wants us to believe that this is true and to keep us divided from the unity of others. Yes, she is different in the fact that she is the President’s daughter and everyone else is not. This is just semantics, we all have areas in which we could say the same thing; I’m an MK, a missionary, am a widow, have a disability, was abused, am dealing with grief or any other issue that appears to separate us from others. It is easy to believe that we are the only ones whom have experienced this and that there is no one else whom can understand. Though one may not understand our exact issue, each of us has something that makes us feel this same way.
She struggled with identity, belonging, knowing what was socially acceptable and popular, wasn’t completely aware of safety and the areas in which she was were different than what is dealt with in ‘real’ life plus, she was put on a pedestal and had the pressure to be perfect. All of these issues are an extension to the issue of being ‘different’. Though there are lies that we believe there is also a lot of truth to these issues. It was true that she didn’t know what was socially acceptable, popular or safe and that people put her on a pedestal with the expectation of being perfect. These things did not make her who she was or keep her from overcoming these obstacles. It is often so easy to allow these issues to make us feel inferior and to oppress us. This is another tactic of the enemy.
I myself have struggled through this issue of being different and feeling that no one does or will understand me, ever. God revealed this lie and proved it to be a lie this summer. I have had a lot happen to me and in my life, much of which I have had little or no control, the most recent struggle being my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and learning to live a life that looks different than it used to be. There has been much judgment from people in my life and lack of understanding. I had come to believe that because of this I am completely different than others, can’t do what others do and am inferior to them. For the past year, my soul has been screaming out “this is not true”! Therefore, I have been swinging back and forth on a pendulum that never seems to stop. One day I’m helping to change my community, the next I am angry at everyone in it.
Thanks to the help of my Green Team (and Nell, but she’s an extension to the Green Team, even if she is married) and a specific meeting that we had, God’s truth and light has been able to shine through. I let out all these feelings of being different, feeling as if no one understands me and hating myself for the anger that comes out. My team very lovingly and directly, pointed out that I am not the only whom feels this way and each of them shared ways in which they also feel different. They then helped me to process ideas on how I can come to terms with this and find a balance. As hard as this conversation was, it was great to find out that being different, in all actuality, is normal.
She struggled with identity, belonging, knowing what was socially acceptable and popular, wasn’t completely aware of safety and the areas in which she was were different than what is dealt with in ‘real’ life plus, she was put on a pedestal and had the pressure to be perfect. All of these issues are an extension to the issue of being ‘different’. Though there are lies that we believe there is also a lot of truth to these issues. It was true that she didn’t know what was socially acceptable, popular or safe and that people put her on a pedestal with the expectation of being perfect. These things did not make her who she was or keep her from overcoming these obstacles. It is often so easy to allow these issues to make us feel inferior and to oppress us. This is another tactic of the enemy.
I myself have struggled through this issue of being different and feeling that no one does or will understand me, ever. God revealed this lie and proved it to be a lie this summer. I have had a lot happen to me and in my life, much of which I have had little or no control, the most recent struggle being my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and learning to live a life that looks different than it used to be. There has been much judgment from people in my life and lack of understanding. I had come to believe that because of this I am completely different than others, can’t do what others do and am inferior to them. For the past year, my soul has been screaming out “this is not true”! Therefore, I have been swinging back and forth on a pendulum that never seems to stop. One day I’m helping to change my community, the next I am angry at everyone in it.
Thanks to the help of my Green Team (and Nell, but she’s an extension to the Green Team, even if she is married) and a specific meeting that we had, God’s truth and light has been able to shine through. I let out all these feelings of being different, feeling as if no one understands me and hating myself for the anger that comes out. My team very lovingly and directly, pointed out that I am not the only whom feels this way and each of them shared ways in which they also feel different. They then helped me to process ideas on how I can come to terms with this and find a balance. As hard as this conversation was, it was great to find out that being different, in all actuality, is normal.
To End All Wars
This is the most amazing movie I have seen in a long time. It is such a beautiful portrayal of grace. To be able to show grace in the midst of a POW camp is unbelievable; I’m not sure I could be so big. The prisoners new what it was to live in a grace-based community, one they created their selves. It would be so easy to become like Ian and become full of hate and revenge, but the others chose to be full of grace and love instead. Ernie was an amazing leader and used his abilities to start up a school and teach the fellow prisoners, in hiding. It was even more unbelievable that his teachings were coming from The Bible. What a mighty man to be able to lead by example in spite of his circumstances.
There were so many examples of grace, like when Dusty gave Ernie his rations, so that he could get better and Dusty then got sick because of his grace; when Yanker took the blame for the missing shovel and received the punishment; when Yanker offered water to Ian when working on the RR, in spite of all that Ian had done to him; and the biggest display was how the soldiers had grace on their captors and chose to work harder, because it is the right thing to do.
What transformation of the Japanese captors from the beginning of the movie, to the end. It took my breath away when the leader allowed them to have their Bible back and continue their classes when he noticed the change in the soldiers and how much harder working and respectful they were when they were being taught God’s truths; he even gave them a gift. More amazing was that the Japanese started hanging out with them and wanting to know about their beliefs; unbelievably touching. There is so much for me to learn from this movie. I want to be like this; an example of Christ’s grace and love even to my enemies. This is a struggle for me, but one I am willing to work on. I am greatly encouraged of how one’s life is truly the greatest witnessing tool. The best part of this movie is that it is true. It doesn’t seem possible, but anything is possible with Christ. I wonder how it took so long for a film to be made about this? As far as I am concerned, this is the greatest war story I have ever seen; everyone needs to see this.
There were so many examples of grace, like when Dusty gave Ernie his rations, so that he could get better and Dusty then got sick because of his grace; when Yanker took the blame for the missing shovel and received the punishment; when Yanker offered water to Ian when working on the RR, in spite of all that Ian had done to him; and the biggest display was how the soldiers had grace on their captors and chose to work harder, because it is the right thing to do.
What transformation of the Japanese captors from the beginning of the movie, to the end. It took my breath away when the leader allowed them to have their Bible back and continue their classes when he noticed the change in the soldiers and how much harder working and respectful they were when they were being taught God’s truths; he even gave them a gift. More amazing was that the Japanese started hanging out with them and wanting to know about their beliefs; unbelievably touching. There is so much for me to learn from this movie. I want to be like this; an example of Christ’s grace and love even to my enemies. This is a struggle for me, but one I am willing to work on. I am greatly encouraged of how one’s life is truly the greatest witnessing tool. The best part of this movie is that it is true. It doesn’t seem possible, but anything is possible with Christ. I wonder how it took so long for a film to be made about this? As far as I am concerned, this is the greatest war story I have ever seen; everyone needs to see this.
We Are Marshall
I have to admit I wasn’t too keen on this film. I understand the point was to show us the pain and the grief process that the teammates, family and town went through, but I found it very difficult to feel their pain and as a feeler, this was important to me. We were only shown the members of the crash but for a moment; we were not given an opportunity to connect with them. If I had seen a little more of these team mates and gotten a feel for their personalities, I believe that I would have had true sorrow for their death, as well as those they left behind. Instead I only felt sympathy for them and I believe that this may be due to the fact that it was an actual event; had it not been I’m not sure I would have felt a whole lot.
I loved the line where Red told Nate that he’s done enough and also the look of relief on Nate’s face after he heard this. This made me think of my family and how, my whole life, I have felt responsible for them. This is partially due to much responsibility being put onto me at a young age and having parents whom constantly point out that us children, especially me, are responsible for my parents actions and feelings, the effects of these actions and feelings, my siblings, foster siblings and so on. I also, am responsible for this feeling of codependency; I am 30 years old and am responsible for myself and how I enable others. On the other hand my siblings and parents are adults and are also responsible for themselves and how they enable each other. I am not so powerful as to hold my family together or to protect them. I found this out first hand upon my return to Colorado Springs. I have been awfully arrogant to think that I impact them that much.
I loved the story behind the story and that though it is about football, it’s not about football. It’s about the healing of a town; more than that, it’s about teamwork, both on the field and off. As each person tried to deal with their suffering alone, they became self focused, selfish, angry and mean. Once they looked past their selves and what they went through and noticed that they all went through this, they were able to look past circumstances and towards the future. Coach Jack was such a crucial part of this, which had a lot to do with the fact that he was not from there and it was not personal for him. More of this had to do with his personality and his willingness to let them hurt, but push them to heal. He was treated quite poorly and often the target for the towns anger, yet in his compassion he stayed and kept fighting for them. He taught them the true meaning of teamwork and how together we accomplish more.
I loved the line where Red told Nate that he’s done enough and also the look of relief on Nate’s face after he heard this. This made me think of my family and how, my whole life, I have felt responsible for them. This is partially due to much responsibility being put onto me at a young age and having parents whom constantly point out that us children, especially me, are responsible for my parents actions and feelings, the effects of these actions and feelings, my siblings, foster siblings and so on. I also, am responsible for this feeling of codependency; I am 30 years old and am responsible for myself and how I enable others. On the other hand my siblings and parents are adults and are also responsible for themselves and how they enable each other. I am not so powerful as to hold my family together or to protect them. I found this out first hand upon my return to Colorado Springs. I have been awfully arrogant to think that I impact them that much.
I loved the story behind the story and that though it is about football, it’s not about football. It’s about the healing of a town; more than that, it’s about teamwork, both on the field and off. As each person tried to deal with their suffering alone, they became self focused, selfish, angry and mean. Once they looked past their selves and what they went through and noticed that they all went through this, they were able to look past circumstances and towards the future. Coach Jack was such a crucial part of this, which had a lot to do with the fact that he was not from there and it was not personal for him. More of this had to do with his personality and his willingness to let them hurt, but push them to heal. He was treated quite poorly and often the target for the towns anger, yet in his compassion he stayed and kept fighting for them. He taught them the true meaning of teamwork and how together we accomplish more.
You Are Special
The first film that we watched was a short, animated film by Max Lucado called "You Are Special".
What a great little film! It really resonated with me; I have a star personality, meaning that I like recognition and to be better at things than others. I tend to want to collect as many stars as possible, often looking to do things bigger and better than other people. In spite of, or maybe because of this, the inevitable gray dots seem to really bother me. No matter how many stars that I get, the gray ones seem to stand out the most. I feel as if they are the most noticeable and probably lead me to work harder to obtain more stars. I hate the gray dots; they seem to scar me, making me less attractive, desirable and not a worthy person.
These gray dots highlight my weaknesses. I find it way too easy to focus on these weaknesses, which makes it way too easy for the enemy to convince me what a terrible person I am. After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia it wasn’t long before I started to compare what I used to be able to do with what I am no longer able to do. Inspite of the fact that God was still doing a lot in and through my life, I started to feel as if I was worthless. It sure seemed to me that everyone else felt this way as well. It would only take a few, strong and opinionated people to make a statement such as “you’re lazy”, “you make a lot of excuses”, “if you would just get up and exercise, or do more, you’d be fine”, “you’re weak”, “it’s not as bad as you say it is” and so on, for me to quickly think “maybe they’re right”. I had forgotten who I was in Christ and worried about what others thought of me.
Why is it that the stars, which are often my strengths, but mostly what I try to do, seem to fade so quickly? No matter how hard I try, there is always someone who does more or is better than me. I can never do enough or be good enough or help enough people. Eventually I became so torn with my passion for people and ministry and wondered “what is the point in even trying when it is never enough”?
Odd isn’t it, that both the gray dots and the stars are equally sinful? When we focus on the gray dots we are focused on what we can’t do and when we are focused on the stars we are focused on what we should be doing. Both are focused on what others think of us and both are very self-centered. Neither is focused on Christ; we have gone from looking vertically to looking horizontally. How easy it is for this focus to shift.
It was no accident that God brought me here when He did and that just as I was starting to stop caring about anyone or anything, because I had started to believe the lies of satan, once again, He reached out in His infinite love for me and pursuit of my heart, mind and soul. I am so glad that this was the first film we watched, because it reminds me that no one, no matter their opinion of me, can fill the void of Jesus and my worth in Him. In His eyes I am already a big star, no matter what I do, or don’t do!I thank God for His grace that sees my weaknesses as well as my strengths, that in His eyes my weaknesses are not a negative thing that has to be overcome, that my strengths are not something to show off or a way to attempt perfection, but that both are gifts from Him that belong to Him and make me the unique person that I am. And that this is good.
What a great little film! It really resonated with me; I have a star personality, meaning that I like recognition and to be better at things than others. I tend to want to collect as many stars as possible, often looking to do things bigger and better than other people. In spite of, or maybe because of this, the inevitable gray dots seem to really bother me. No matter how many stars that I get, the gray ones seem to stand out the most. I feel as if they are the most noticeable and probably lead me to work harder to obtain more stars. I hate the gray dots; they seem to scar me, making me less attractive, desirable and not a worthy person.
These gray dots highlight my weaknesses. I find it way too easy to focus on these weaknesses, which makes it way too easy for the enemy to convince me what a terrible person I am. After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia it wasn’t long before I started to compare what I used to be able to do with what I am no longer able to do. Inspite of the fact that God was still doing a lot in and through my life, I started to feel as if I was worthless. It sure seemed to me that everyone else felt this way as well. It would only take a few, strong and opinionated people to make a statement such as “you’re lazy”, “you make a lot of excuses”, “if you would just get up and exercise, or do more, you’d be fine”, “you’re weak”, “it’s not as bad as you say it is” and so on, for me to quickly think “maybe they’re right”. I had forgotten who I was in Christ and worried about what others thought of me.
Why is it that the stars, which are often my strengths, but mostly what I try to do, seem to fade so quickly? No matter how hard I try, there is always someone who does more or is better than me. I can never do enough or be good enough or help enough people. Eventually I became so torn with my passion for people and ministry and wondered “what is the point in even trying when it is never enough”?
Odd isn’t it, that both the gray dots and the stars are equally sinful? When we focus on the gray dots we are focused on what we can’t do and when we are focused on the stars we are focused on what we should be doing. Both are focused on what others think of us and both are very self-centered. Neither is focused on Christ; we have gone from looking vertically to looking horizontally. How easy it is for this focus to shift.
It was no accident that God brought me here when He did and that just as I was starting to stop caring about anyone or anything, because I had started to believe the lies of satan, once again, He reached out in His infinite love for me and pursuit of my heart, mind and soul. I am so glad that this was the first film we watched, because it reminds me that no one, no matter their opinion of me, can fill the void of Jesus and my worth in Him. In His eyes I am already a big star, no matter what I do, or don’t do!I thank God for His grace that sees my weaknesses as well as my strengths, that in His eyes my weaknesses are not a negative thing that has to be overcome, that my strengths are not something to show off or a way to attempt perfection, but that both are gifts from Him that belong to Him and make me the unique person that I am. And that this is good.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
A Breath of Fresh Air
Oh to be in the mountains again! To contemplate and reflect on all the many things going on in my head, while staring up at the mountains, trees and sky; all while swinging back and forth. If only every moment could be this great!
So much has happened since moving to Greeley and this is one of the few chances I have had to stop, relax and just breath. It seems that there are always voices, from all directions, pulling at me and telling me what each person thinks I should do. I have found myself very bitter and angry with this and trying with all my might to figure things out, how does one do this when people won't be quiet long enough for you to hear God and time alone is a rarity (truly alone, without someone judging how you are spending your time)? It is amazing how much God is already talking to me and guiding me, with just a couple days of re-focus.
So far the training has been great! The people are wonderful and it is such a blessing to live in community again. I often forget how great it is to be surrounded by people who encourage, accept and don't judge you. This is one of the things I love the most about OC; they focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. In fact, anytime you say anything about yourself in a negative note, you are quickly redirected to change your statement to a positive one. The idea is to accentuate each others positive and down play each others weaknesses. In a society focused on our weaknesses and convinced that we each would be better if we could just strengthen our weaknesses instead of focusing on each other's unique strenghts and how to excel in those, this truly is a breath of fresh air.
So much has happened since moving to Greeley and this is one of the few chances I have had to stop, relax and just breath. It seems that there are always voices, from all directions, pulling at me and telling me what each person thinks I should do. I have found myself very bitter and angry with this and trying with all my might to figure things out, how does one do this when people won't be quiet long enough for you to hear God and time alone is a rarity (truly alone, without someone judging how you are spending your time)? It is amazing how much God is already talking to me and guiding me, with just a couple days of re-focus.
So far the training has been great! The people are wonderful and it is such a blessing to live in community again. I often forget how great it is to be surrounded by people who encourage, accept and don't judge you. This is one of the things I love the most about OC; they focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses. In fact, anytime you say anything about yourself in a negative note, you are quickly redirected to change your statement to a positive one. The idea is to accentuate each others positive and down play each others weaknesses. In a society focused on our weaknesses and convinced that we each would be better if we could just strengthen our weaknesses instead of focusing on each other's unique strenghts and how to excel in those, this truly is a breath of fresh air.
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