You Are Special

The first film that we watched was a short, animated film by Max Lucado called "You Are Special".
What a great little film! It really resonated with me; I have a star personality, meaning that I like recognition and to be better at things than others. I tend to want to collect as many stars as possible, often looking to do things bigger and better than other people. In spite of, or maybe because of this, the inevitable gray dots seem to really bother me. No matter how many stars that I get, the gray ones seem to stand out the most. I feel as if they are the most noticeable and probably lead me to work harder to obtain more stars. I hate the gray dots; they seem to scar me, making me less attractive, desirable and not a worthy person.
These gray dots highlight my weaknesses. I find it way too easy to focus on these weaknesses, which makes it way too easy for the enemy to convince me what a terrible person I am. After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia it wasn’t long before I started to compare what I used to be able to do with what I am no longer able to do. Inspite of the fact that God was still doing a lot in and through my life, I started to feel as if I was worthless. It sure seemed to me that everyone else felt this way as well. It would only take a few, strong and opinionated people to make a statement such as “you’re lazy”, “you make a lot of excuses”, “if you would just get up and exercise, or do more, you’d be fine”, “you’re weak”, “it’s not as bad as you say it is” and so on, for me to quickly think “maybe they’re right”. I had forgotten who I was in Christ and worried about what others thought of me.
Why is it that the stars, which are often my strengths, but mostly what I try to do, seem to fade so quickly? No matter how hard I try, there is always someone who does more or is better than me. I can never do enough or be good enough or help enough people. Eventually I became so torn with my passion for people and ministry and wondered “what is the point in even trying when it is never enough”?
Odd isn’t it, that both the gray dots and the stars are equally sinful? When we focus on the gray dots we are focused on what we can’t do and when we are focused on the stars we are focused on what we should be doing. Both are focused on what others think of us and both are very self-centered. Neither is focused on Christ; we have gone from looking vertically to looking horizontally. How easy it is for this focus to shift.
It was no accident that God brought me here when He did and that just as I was starting to stop caring about anyone or anything, because I had started to believe the lies of satan, once again, He reached out in His infinite love for me and pursuit of my heart, mind and soul. I am so glad that this was the first film we watched, because it reminds me that no one, no matter their opinion of me, can fill the void of Jesus and my worth in Him. In His eyes I am already a big star, no matter what I do, or don’t do!I thank God for His grace that sees my weaknesses as well as my strengths, that in His eyes my weaknesses are not a negative thing that has to be overcome, that my strengths are not something to show off or a way to attempt perfection, but that both are gifts from Him that belong to Him and make me the unique person that I am. And that this is good.